Why I Cry
by greyslostwho
Summary: TenRose reunion fic. My first doctor who fic. I wanna know what you think! Please R&R, but be nice!
1. Chapter 1

**WHY I CRY**

A SHORT FANFIC ABOUT ROSE'S FEELINGS AFTER HER LAST GOODBYES WITH THE DOCTOR, AND WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE FINDS HERSELF WITH A RANDOM WELSH WOMAN. YEAH, I KNOW A LOAD OF PEOPLE WILL BE ANGRY WITH ME FOR CLASHING DOCTOR WHO AND TORCHWOOD, AND I'LL ADMIT THAT MAYBE JACK/GWEN IS A LITTLE BIT BAD, BUT WHATEVER. THE STORY FOCUSES ON ROSE, ANYWAY.

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN DOCTOR WHO AND I DON'T OWN TORCHWOOD. I DON'T OWN DAVID TENNANT, BILLIE PIPER, EVE MYLES, JOHN BARROWMAN, BURN GORMAN, DAVID GARETH LLOYD, NAOKO MORI OR FREEMA AGYEMAN. I DON'T OWN ANY OF THIS STORY, BASICALLY.

SPOILERS: ONLY SEASON TWO. SET STRAIGHT AFTERWARD, OH, AND AFTER MARTHA A BIT TOO.

Rose Tyler looked up at the sky, and let the cold Nordic wind blow the tears dry from her face. This was the end of her life. This was the last goodbye.

"Rose?" she could hear her mother's voice, and she felt Jackie's arms tighten around her. And she could feel the bump almost, now. She suddenly felt a huge wave of jealousy for the unborn foetus moving inside her mother. A baby, a baby born into a world that was sealed and safe now, a baby born into a complete family, and a baby born without knowing he was out there, without knowing about him.

She swallowed the tears again, and spoke, hoping that maybe he would hear her.

"I'll come back here, every single year. To this beach. And exactly today, 14th June, I will stand here, by the rocks, and wish you were standing here in the other world. I… I won't ever forget you…" she trailed off, but the tears had gone. She was cold inside.

FIRST CHAPTER'S SHORT. MORE ON WAY


	2. Chapter 2

**WHY I CRY**

A SHORT FANFIC ABOUT ROSE'S FEELINGS AFTER HER LAST GOODBYES WITH THE DOCTOR, AND WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE FINDS HERSELF WITH A RANDOM WELSH WOMAN. YEAH, I KNOW A LOAD OF PEOPLE WILL BE ANGRY WITH ME FOR CLASHING DOCTOR WHO AND TORCHWOOD, AND I'LL ADMIT THAT MAYBE JACK/GWEN IS A LITTLE BIT BAD, BUT WHATEVER. THE STORY FOCUSES ON ROSE, ANYWAY.

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN DOCTOR WHO AND I DON'T OWN TORCHWOOD. I DON'T OWN DAVID TENNANT, BILLIE PIPER, EVE MYLES, JOHN BARROWMAN, BURN GORMAN, DAVID GARETH LLOYD, NAOKO MORI OR FREEMA AGYEMAN. I DON'T OWN ANY OF THIS STORY, BASICALLY.

SPOILERS: ONLY SEASON TWO. SET STRAIGHT AFTERWARD, OH, AND AFTER MARTHA A BIT TOO.

Rose waved from the door of her little apartment. She could hardly see for the tears. She loved seeing her Mum and her little sister Kaye, but she wasn't really a family person these days. It was weird being with people who always wanted to know if she was ok, as if her loss was an illness that could flare up at any point. Truthfully, it was like an illness. But it didn't flare up. It never ceased.

She stopped seeing Mickey, too. He'd taken her out to dinner once or twice, but she'd wanted nothing, and she knew he wanted to be more than friends, despite his protests that he was just being nice. So she barely ever saw Mickey these days, apart from when she went to London to stay with her parents in the time off from work. And the time, about ten months ago, when they had driven her to the beach again and stood at the van whilst she made her goodbyes.

She was 22 now, and she had no life anymore. All she ever did was go to work. She had been transferred to the Welsh Torchwood from London, and she had jumped at the chance to go. To get away from the familiarity of London and the memories of the other world. Sometimes she would, when she had been in London, go down to where her apartment had been in her world. Some old couple lived there now, and they had begun to look at her strange when she stood outside their house for periods of time. So she stopped.

She hated Wales, to be quite frank. She hated the rain (it was worse than England) and she hated the sheep. She hated the accents, and the food, and… well, Rose didn't really like much these days. She had a beautiful little flat, stylish and modern, so she stayed in as much as possible, and didn't do much. She only had a desk sort of job at Torchwood, nothing out there doing stuff. She didn't think she could look at aliens without him by her side.

Jackie and Pete had begged her to come home more than once, especially since Kaye had been born. But Rose couldn't call it home. She didn't even call the old world home. The only home she knew now was the TARDIS. And God, did she miss it.

She stepped back inside and shut the door. She ran her hand through her hair. She knew that it was practically half blonde half brown now, she hadn't bothered to dye it in so long, but she couldn't care less. The only reason she would care about her appearance would be for other people to notice. She didn't live near anyone she cared about. She didn't want men to notice her. She never wanted that kind of attention again.

She poured herself a glass of apple juice from her fridge. She looked to her kettle and then realised she couldn't even be bothered to make herself a cup of tea. She was really letting go. Catching sight of herself in the reflection on the oven made her almost shocked. She was stick thin; her clothes about three sizes too big, and her make-up had left dark circles under her eyes. No wonder her mother had asked her if she was feeling well.

Well, she wasn't feeling well. She hadn't been feeling well for nearly two years now. Her life was fading before her own eyes, and there was nothing she could do to make it right. Not by herself. She sunk into the sofa, and cried.

PLEASE R&R! THIS IS MY FIRST DOCTOR WHO FIC, SO BE KIND!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**WHY I CRY**

A SHORT FANFIC ABOUT ROSE'S FEELINGS AFTER HER LAST GOODBYES WITH THE DOCTOR, AND WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE FINDS HERSELF WITH A RANDOM WELSH WOMAN. YEAH, I KNOW A LOAD OF PEOPLE WILL BE ANGRY WITH ME FOR CLASHING DOCTOR WHO AND TORCHWOOD, AND I'LL ADMIT THAT MAYBE JACK/GWEN IS A LITTLE BIT BAD, BUT WHATEVER. THE STORY FOCUSES ON ROSE, ANYWAY.

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN DOCTOR WHO AND I DON'T OWN TORCHWOOD. I DON'T OWN DAVID TENNANT, BILLIE PIPER, EVE MYLES, JOHN BARROWMAN, BURN GORMAN, DAVID GARETH LLOYD, NAOKO MORI OR FREEMA AGYEMAN. I DON'T OWN ANY OF THIS STORY, BASICALLY.

SPOILERS: ONLY SEASON TWO. SET STRAIGHT AFTERWARD, OH, AND AFTER MARTHA A BIT TOO.

"Honestly, Mickey, this is something I want to do myself." She said into the phone.

"Are you sure, Rose? I won't be any bother, seriously. I'll just drop you there if that's what you want…"

"No, Mickey. I want to go myself. Make a little holiday of it, you know. Take a break. Get away from everything."

"You don't have to go, you know. He won't be there. It doesn't make anything any better…"

"Shut up! Just shut up, ok? I am going every year of the rest of my life and there is nothing anyone can do to stop me! Ok?"

"Sorry." He mumbled, "Bye, Rose."

"Bye, Mickey."

And then she hung up.

It was raining, this time. The rain was pouring down and soaking her hair and her clothing. But she stood there, by the rocks, her eyes closed, remembering just for a moment what it felt like to be in his arms, and the rain didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Because for just one minute, just one tiny minute, Rose Tyler was with The Doctor again and everything else just fell by the wayside.

Then she turned around slowly, let the tears leak away, and headed from the beach, back to her hotel, and tomorrow, home.

She opened the door to her apartment slowly, catching sight of her reflection in the mirror. She smiled when she saw it, because for a moment she looked like the old Rose. The old Rose who had come back in the middle of the night, and sneaked back into her house, ready to surprise her Mum in the morning that she was back from adventuring with the Doctor. The old Rose, with her newly highlighted hair and her big, dark made up eyes. The old Rose, with a hint of a smile always playing on her lips…

There the illusion shattered. She might have the hair and the make up again. She might even dress the same. She could easily look the same girl, but she could never be her. The smile wouldn't come. The glint in her eyes would never return. The darkness wouldn't go away…


	4. Chapter 4

**WHY I CRY**

A SHORT FANFIC ABOUT ROSE'S FEELINGS AFTER HER LAST GOODBYES WITH THE DOCTOR, AND WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE FINDS HERSELF WITH A RANDOM WELSH WOMAN. YEAH, I KNOW A LOAD OF PEOPLE WILL BE ANGRY WITH ME FOR CLASHING DOCTOR WHO AND TORCHWOOD, AND I'LL ADMIT THAT MAYBE JACK/GWEN IS A LITTLE BIT BAD, BUT WHATEVER. THE STORY FOCUSES ON ROSE, ANYWAY.

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN DOCTOR WHO AND I DON'T OWN TORCHWOOD. I DON'T OWN DAVID TENNANT, BILLIE PIPER, EVE MYLES, JOHN BARROWMAN, BURN GORMAN, DAVID GARETH LLOYD, NAOKO MORI OR FREEMA AGYEMAN. I DON'T OWN ANY OF THIS STORY, BASICALLY.

SPOILERS: ONLY SEASON TWO. SET STRAIGHT AFTERWARD, OH, AND AFTER MARTHA A BIT TOO.

Without turning the lights on she walked through the house, kicking her shoes off and then settling down on the sofa, still in her jeans and shirt, ready to sleep soundly straight away. She was so tired all the time now, like life was making her weary…

"Jack?" came a voice. "Owen? Tosh?" it was a woman's voice, with a strong Welsh accent, "Ianto?"

Rose sat bolt upright and turned on the light. Had she finally gone mad? She turned slowly and looked to the door. A woman was stood there, a dark haired woman a few years older than Rose. She had huge dark eyes, and in them Rose could see something she hadn't seen for a long time – proper, other-worldly fear.

"What are you doing here?" Rose asked gently, standing up slowly.

"Who are you? What have you done to Jack? Where's Owen? Where's Tosh? Where's-"

"Who are you? Just answer me." Rose cut her off. The woman said nothing. "I don't know what the hell is going on right now, but if you would sit down, right here, I'll make you a cup of tea and then you can tell me how you came to be in my apartment."

The other woman followed her with her eyes as she left the room. When Rose came back in with the tea, she sipped it gently and looked at Rose strangely.

"Don't you think I'm a burglar or something?"

Rose looked her straight in the eye, "Why, are you a burglar?"

The woman shook her head.

"My name is Gwen Cooper."

"Rose Tyler." Rose shook her hand. "Now, how did you get here?"

"I was at work… and then all of a sudden I was here…I tried to turn back but it was all dark… I can't understand it…"

"Where do you work?"

"Torchwood – it's like a department of the police only-"

"I know about Torchwood." Rose said softly, "I work there. Aliens and stuff."

Gwen looked at her, surprise showing in her eyes.

"Are we in Scotland?"

"No, why do you say that?"

"Because I work for Torchwood 3, right? Torchwood Wales. Cardiff. Torchwood 1; that was London. The Battle of Canary Wharf; that destroyed all that. Remember when there were those Cybermen things? Well, Torchwood 2, Torchwood Scotland is the only other option. Are you on vacation?"


	5. Chapter 5

**WHY I CRY**

A SHORT FANFIC ABOUT ROSE'S FEELINGS AFTER HER LAST GOODBYES WITH THE DOCTOR, AND WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE FINDS HERSELF WITH A RANDOM WELSH WOMAN. YEAH, I KNOW A LOAD OF PEOPLE WILL BE ANGRY WITH ME FOR CLASHING DOCTOR WHO AND TORCHWOOD, AND I'LL ADMIT THAT MAYBE JACK/GWEN IS A LITTLE BIT BAD, BUT WHATEVER. THE STORY FOCUSES ON ROSE, ANYWAY.

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN DOCTOR WHO AND I DON'T OWN TORCHWOOD. I DON'T OWN DAVID TENNANT, BILLIE PIPER, EVE MYLES, JOHN BARROWMAN, BURN GORMAN, DAVID GARETH LLOYD, NAOKO MORI OR FREEMA AGYEMAN. I DON'T OWN ANY OF THIS STORY, BASICALLY.

SPOILERS: ONLY SEASON TWO. SET STRAIGHT AFTERWARD, OH, AND AFTER MARTHA A BIT TOO.

"Rose? Are you ok?"

"C…C…Canary Wharf, right?"

Gwen looked at her strangely, "Yes."

"You are from Torchwood Wales?"

"Torchwood 3." She said, smiling, "Only 2 of us are actually Welsh."

Rose's heart was beating fast. "There are no airships in your London?"  
"I don't think so." Gwen said, frowning, "Though I haven't been to London since I was a kid."

"Who runs your Torchwood?"

"Well, Jack's first in command, Captain Jack Harkness. But he doesn't really run it…"

Rose gripped the other woman by the shoulders. "Jack Harkness? As in kind of gay American in big army coat?"

Gwen gaped. "The very same. Do you know him?"

"Gwen, you've somehow found yourself in a parallel world. This place, this is the same mostly, but also kind of different, like they have airships in London and Torchwood 1 still runs. I used to… I used to be in your world, but in the Battle of Canary Wharf… which didn't happen here, by the way, I fell through. And everything closed up. I couldn't get back. I knew Jack a while back, but I thought he was dead…"

"What? A parallel world?"

"Yes." Rose was smiling, almost laughing as she spoke, "And we're going to get back through!! We're going back!!"

Gwen nodded, still shocked at the revelation.

"Did you ever, at Torchwood or anything, meet a man who calls himself the Doctor?"

Gwen nodded, and Rose's eyes lit up, "Yes, the Time Lord. He was a friend of Jack's. And the girl who travels with him – Martha, I think her name was. Barely a kid out of school. Apparently she's training to be a doctor herself, actually. A medical doctor, I mean. She'd be about two years younger than you, I would've said."

Rose said nothing. Her heart had sunk down to her toes and her eyes were filling.

"What's wrong?" Gwen asked anxiously.

Rose felt a sudden strong solidarity with Sarah Jane.

"I thought – I thought - " she trailed off. She looked straight at Gwen.

"I was so in love with him." She whispered, "Head over heels. Then we were separated, forever. Now…now I find out that he has someone else now – does he… are they… this Martha person… are they a couple?"

Gwen shook her head. "They didn't seem to be. She's obsessed with him, you could tell, but he seemed to want to have nothing to do with her in that way. He seemed very distant when Jack asked him… Oh my God! Jack asked him about Rose! Jack asked him about you!"

Rose smiled ever so slightly. "What did he say?"

"Like I said, he was very distant, but he said you were with your family, and you were safe, and you were gonna be ok. I think that's all. He didn't seem to want to talk about it. It was kind of awkward, you know."

"I am gonna be ok, am I? Well I wish that would happen soon."

Gwen said nothing, just looked at her pityingly. "I'm sorry, Rose."

"Don't be. It's ok. It's been two years now, and the pain has numbed a bit, I guess."

Another silence followed.

"Who am I kidding? It's raw, like an open wound. It keeps me from sleeping; it keeps me from thinking straight. It stops everything. I can't bear it much longer, Gwen."

The older woman put her hand on Rose's shoulder. "But I got through, didn't I? We can go back, we have to. And then you can walk into Torchwood and Jack'll help you find the Doctor again. It'll all be fine, you'll see."

"But what if we can't find a way back? What if you're stuck here forever, like me? What if I can't get back to him?"

Gwen smiled. "Jack will find a way." She said, with more confidence than her eyes showed.

"How is Jack, anyway, these days?" Rose asked.

"He's great. Really great. He still hasn't exactly told me what made him immortal, but…"

"Jack's immortal?"

"Yeah. Wasn't he immortal when you knew him? Says he died and then was brought back to life and since then, he can't die."

"Oh My God."

"What?"  
"It was me. I brought him back to life. I… it's complicated, but I looked into the time vortex and all things that were living were dead and all things that were dead were living… But we had to leave him behind…"

There was a stunned silence as Rose thought carefully.

"It's the time vortex, in me still! Whatever you did over the other side, you were attracted to it. And if I… if I can find the right words… or the right place… maybe I can force us back through…"

"But what would be the right words?"

"I don't know. What were you saying when you came through?"

Gwen said nothing.

"Gwen?"

"It's kind of embarrassing."

"Just tell me."

"I was… I was… I was telling Jack… I was telling Jack I was in love with him."

Rose's mouth dropped open. She then smiled. "Seriously?"

"Yeah." The other woman had flushed red, "And then it went all black and I was stumbling through your study."

"Did you hear his reply?" Rose asked, and then laughed, "Sorry, that was way personal."

"No, it's ok. Honestly. I didn't. I don't know. He's…he's kinda like… well… bi, anyway."

Rose smiled in spite of herself. "I bet he likes you. I think you're his type."

Gwen laughed nervously, "I hope so. Because I dumped my boyfriend for him."

"You're serious, then?"

Gwen nodded, "Well, I'm guessing that's not what made it open. But we could go look in your study. I was so confused I sort of stumbled through the door without looking back."


	6. Chapter 6

**WHY I CRY**

A SHORT FANFIC ABOUT ROSE'S FEELINGS AFTER HER LAST GOODBYES WITH THE DOCTOR, AND WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE FINDS HERSELF WITH A RANDOM WELSH WOMAN. YEAH, I KNOW A LOAD OF PEOPLE WILL BE ANGRY WITH ME FOR CLASHING DOCTOR WHO AND TORCHWOOD, AND I'LL ADMIT THAT MAYBE JACK/GWEN IS A LITTLE BIT BAD, BUT WHATEVER. THE STORY FOCUSES ON ROSE, ANYWAY.

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN DOCTOR WHO AND I DON'T OWN TORCHWOOD. I DON'T OWN DAVID TENNANT, BILLIE PIPER, EVE MYLES, JOHN BARROWMAN, BURN GORMAN, DAVID GARETH LLOYD, NAOKO MORI OR FREEMA AGYEMAN. I DON'T OWN ANY OF THIS STORY, BASICALLY.

SPOILERS: ONLY SEASON TWO. SET STRAIGHT AFTERWARD, OH, AND AFTER MARTHA A BIT TOO.

Rose could feel herself shaking as she opened the door to her study. She closed her eyes. She didn't want to see everything normal and think that this was the same as before, she could still never get back through. She wanted so much to see some sort of way through.

"Oh my God." She heard Gwen say. She slowly let her eyes open.

There was a gaping black hole in the fabric of time and space. Rose felt the tears leaking from her eyes. Finally, she had found a way home.

"Are you just going to leave this world behind, Rose?" Gwen asked, "I thought you had family here."

Then Rose felt the dawning realisation. She had to throw away her family and her little sister to walk forwards into a world she had died in before. Slowly she stepped back, away from the room.

"I know it's a difficult choice, Rose, but you need to make it fast. This could close up any second."

Rose shook her head. "It isn't a choice, Gwen. I can't stay here and live this half life. I just need a way to leave them a message."

"Leave them voicemails." Gwen said, "I did that when I left my home when I was a teenager, to come live in Cardiff."

Rose nodded. She picked up her cell phone.

"Ring them." She said, "Keep them talking."

Gwen put the phone to her ear.

Rose went into another room. She dialled the number she knew better than her own and then spoke.

"Hey Mum. Hi Dad. Hello, Kaye. I'm leaving this world. I have to. I have found a way through and I am going to find the Doctor and I am going to live with him for the rest of my life. Try not to be sad, know that I am happy. I will miss seeing Kaye grow up. My beautiful little sister. Tell her about me, Mum. Tell her about the Doctor, and tell her about things that no one else will ever tell. Tell her that I miss her, and maybe one day the Doctor and I will find a way through to her, to you, and she can come adventuring in the TARDIS, if she wants. When she's big enough. I love you all so much. Say goodbye to Mickey for me. I love you."

She hung up, because there were tears in her eyes. Then she walked back in. Gwen stood beside the hole, but it was considerably smaller now. It was now or never. She took the other woman's arm, and looked her right in the eye.

"If this doesn't work, Rose…" Gwen began, but Rose shushed her.

"Don't say anything. This will work."

"OK. Ready?"

"Ready." Rose agreed and still holding Gwen's arm, they both stepped through.

Blackness

A girl, crying on a beach…

A screaming baby, held in her mother's arms as her father lay dead in the road…

A woman, her face up against a wall…

The birth of a baby…

Holding a man's face in her hands and kissing him…

Holding hands as fireworks went up…

Daleks, flying through the air…

Rose landed hard on the ground. She hit her head, and then she blacked out.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/


	7. Chapter 7

**WHY I CRY**

A SHORT FANFIC ABOUT ROSE'S FEELINGS AFTER HER LAST GOODBYES WITH THE DOCTOR, AND WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE FINDS HERSELF WITH A RANDOM WELSH WOMAN. YEAH, I KNOW A LOAD OF PEOPLE WILL BE ANGRY WITH ME FOR CLASHING DOCTOR WHO AND TORCHWOOD, AND I'LL ADMIT THAT MAYBE JACK/GWEN IS A LITTLE BIT BAD, BUT WHATEVER. THE STORY FOCUSES ON ROSE, ANYWAY.

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN DOCTOR WHO AND I DON'T OWN TORCHWOOD. I DON'T OWN DAVID TENNANT, BILLIE PIPER, EVE MYLES, JOHN BARROWMAN, BURN GORMAN, DAVID GARETH LLOYD, NAOKO MORI OR FREEMA AGYEMAN. I DON'T OWN ANY OF THIS STORY, BASICALLY.

SPOILERS: ONLY SEASON TWO. SET STRAIGHT AFTERWARD, OH, AND AFTER MARTHA A BIT TOO.

"Rose…" she could hear a familiar voice above her, "Rose…"

Her eyelids fluttered and she looked into the eyes of a man she had thought she would never see again.

"Jack…" she murmured, and he grinned. Slowly her eyes focused and she could see he had his arm round Gwen's waist, and the other woman was beaming.

"I never thought I'd see you again, Rose." Jack said, and Rose nodded.

"Ditto." She grinned, "I missed you, Jack."

"I missed you too." He said, and he broke away from Gwen for a second to hug his old friend. Then slowly he drew back and took Gwen's hand.

"Jack-" she began, but he interrupted.

"We've contacted him. It could take a few minutes to process, but he could be here any minute."

Rose was speechless. "The…the Doctor?"

"Of course." Jack said. Rose sat up slowly.

"I can't thank you enough, Jack."

He smiled. "You saved my life and made me immortal. I guess that comes pretty close."

She laughed lightly. "He will definitely come, Jack?"

Jack nodded. "He told me if I ever found out anything, even about the parallel world, I was to press this weird little button that he gave me. He said he would be here within the hour."

Rose smiled at him.

A Japanese woman came walking over. "I'm Toshiko Sato." She said simply, and handed Rose a cup of tea in a paper cup. Rose sipped it gratefully and it brought tears to her eyes, tea reminding her so much of Jackie. "I am the computer technician for Torchwood 3."

"Computer genius, Tosh, we talked about that."

"Jack! I can't use computer genius as my official title!"

The youngish man who had followed her smiled down at her and she noticed a glint in his eye that made her instantly comfortable with him.

"I'm Owen Harper, second in command here." He smiled. The other man, from across the room, looked up and waved.

"That's Ianto Jones." Gwen said, "He's the one on the door. He does everything."

Rose waved weakly at Ianto.

Within twenty minutes she was sat in a comfortable chair in the main section of the Hub, and Toshiko was sat with her. She had already recounted the story of what had happened at Canary Wharf to them, and then what she had been doing with her life for the past two years, and now she was on her third cup of tea, just sipping and listening to Tosh tell her about Torchwood and all the things that the five of the got up to.

Suddenly, a call rang out from across the Hub.

"He's on his way!" It was Gwen's voice. Rose and Tosh sprang up and ran to the computer area, where Gwen was stood.

"Stand back, Rose." Jack said, and she could see the authority in his eyes that made him a great Torchwood leader. She stepped back against the wall.

"Owen, lower the time barrier!" Jack shouted, "Tosh, get on the computer and relocate the landing stage! Ianto, secure all exits and entrances! Gwen, help Rose into the safety gear!"

Jack walked over to a huge machine and pulled a huge lever towards him. She was reminded of the incidents at Torchwood one, her hand slipping off the lever… the Doctor screaming her name…

"Put this on." Gwen said and handed her something that looked like a life jacket. "It'll stop the rift sucking you in."

She strapped it on and then she took hold of the older woman's hand and squeezed her eyes tight shut.

It was only when she heard the noise that they opened. She could see the TARDIS, their TARDIS, swimming into focus. Then it was clear. She let go of Gwen and stepped forward. She stood right at the door of the police box, throwing off her jacket and handing it back to Gwen once Jack had closed the rift again. She stood right by the door, ran her hand once through her hair and then waited. The door began to open.


	8. Chapter 8

**WHY I CRY**

A SHORT FANFIC ABOUT ROSE'S FEELINGS AFTER HER LAST GOODBYES WITH THE DOCTOR, AND WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE FINDS HERSELF WITH A RANDOM WELSH WOMAN. YEAH, I KNOW A LOAD OF PEOPLE WILL BE ANGRY WITH ME FOR CLASHING DOCTOR WHO AND TORCHWOOD, AND I'LL ADMIT THAT MAYBE JACK/GWEN IS A LITTLE BIT BAD, BUT WHATEVER. THE STORY FOCUSES ON ROSE, ANYWAY.

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN DOCTOR WHO AND I DON'T OWN TORCHWOOD. I DON'T OWN DAVID TENNANT, BILLIE PIPER, EVE MYLES, JOHN BARROWMAN, BURN GORMAN, DAVID GARETH LLOYD, NAOKO MORI OR FREEMA AGYEMAN. I DON'T OWN ANY OF THIS STORY, BASICALLY.

SPOILERS: ONLY SEASON TWO. SET STRAIGHT AFTERWARD, OH, AND AFTER MARTHA A BIT TOO.

A youngish black woman walked out, with her hair high up on her head and her eyes wide with make-up. Rose took one step back. The girl looked at her strangely and then smiled across at Jack and Gwen.

"Hey." She said.

"Hi, Martha." Jack said absently, and Rose looked at the girl again. So she had been the one that replaced her, then. She understood now.

Then he stepped out, looking down at something in his hands. She smiled when she noticed it was his sonic screwdriver. He hadn't regenerated, and she was glad. She would have felt strange if she hadn't recognised him. She took a step towards him and put her hands on his arms, making him look up at her.

For a moment his eyes showed shock. She started to laugh, laugh so hard the tears were rolling down her face. Slowly his face broke into a smile. He was laughing too then, laughing and holding her to him, hugging her so hard she thought she would stop breathing.

"You did it." He said, "You're a genius!"

"I did it." She repeated, her eyes filling with tears and then overflowing, again and again.

He pulled away and held her at arms length. "Rose Tyler, I love you too." He said, and she didn't think that her heart could beat any faster. The moment he took her face in his hands and kissed her gently was the best moment of her entire life. When their lips touched, she felt the breath knocked out of her instantly, and as her mouth opened slowly and his tongue and hers linked, she thought she could die happy. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself to him tightly, and she could feel his two hearts beating faster than she'd ever felt them, matching her racing pulse.

When her breath was forced out of her, and she pulled back gently, she stayed close, planting tiny baby kisses on his lips until his eyes opened slowly. The expression in them she would keep with her forever. It wasn't his usual, slightly haunted look, or the look of surprise he had worn when she had kissed him as Lady Cassandra. It was an expression of fruitful joy.

If Rose had had eyes for anything but the Doctor at that moment, she would have seen the pained look of the face of a girl called Martha Jones, and how she quietly asked Gwen where the way out was, left the Hub and got on a train back to London, and back to her old life. She knew that although the Doctor wouldn't send her away, he didn't need her anymore. In two years, when she finished her medical exams, she would be back here and working at Torchwood 3, and within five she would be married to Owen Harper. But Rose didn't have eyes for Martha. Neither did she notice the rest of the people in the room slowly creeping away to give them privacy.

"How long has it been?" he asked, still holding her tightly.

"Two years." She said, "Two whole years."

"It's been four for me." He said softly, "But Martha was with me for one, so I haven't been alone."

"Good." She said, "I wouldn't have wanted you to be alone."

"I missed you so much." He said, "I wanted you to know I loved you so much, but I couldn't. There was nothing I could do. For once I was powerless."

She kissed his face where a tear had rolled down onto his cheekbone.

"Mum had a little girl. We called her Kaye."

"Brilliant." He said, "You're brilliant. You humans, you get thrown into another universe and you just get on with life. You have children. You do realise that she is the first cross universe baby?"

Rose smiled. "I'd never thought about it like that before."

"I'm so sorry, Rose. I'm sorry I wasted time. I'm sorry I couldn't find a way to find you. I'm sorry I lost you…"

She silenced him with her kiss, her eyes full.

About an hour later, they walked back into the main section of the Hub. One look at Jack's face told the Doctor that Martha was gone for good. The Doctor had his arm around Rose's waist, and their eyes were bright and their hearts were full. Gwen and Tosh smiled at the girl they had only met earlier that day, who had been so damaged and alone, who was now smiling from ear to ear and clinging to a man she thought she would never see again.

"I'm going to travel with you, aren't I?" she asked, smiling at him. He bent his head and kissed her.

"Of course you are. Forever. But you need to understand, Rose, that I can't age, and you have no other path…"

Rose smiled at him. "I know. But that is your loss, not mine. I can live my entire lifetime with you, but when I die I will still break your heart. But I love you, and I want to spend my life with you. Please."

He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.

"I love you so much."

She giggled, "So you keep telling me."

He laughed, "I can't say it enough, Rose. I love you."

"And I love you too." She grinned, "Now, let's stop making these good people feel awkward, and see if we can get something to eat."


End file.
